By Lisa Lee Harp Waugh
THE REAL SECRETS OF THE DEAD
I'm not thinking about you. Isn't that what it's all about. Always having someone far away consumed with only you. In love with you desiring to know you every move. Calling you every second. wondering what are they doing now this second? Isn't this what we all want as living beings. Real honest to goodness trust, truth, and a good feeling and sense of well being all the time.
Play the music below and read on.
Loss and grief are inevitable at some time in everyone's life and at any age. From our beloved dogs, cats and loving pets. Close friends and family, from moving countries to changing schools, by death of a loved one or after community disaster. It is present when getting married (no longer single) and in divorce (no longer married). The more significant the loss, the more intense the grief is likely to be.
I know because I deal with this everyday as an Necomancer. I hear the dead and the living their voices sound as one. I also know because it has happened to me in my life. I seek a purpose when I hunt for real ghosts and mine should be apparent.
Everyone experiences and expresses grief in their own way, often shaped by how their culture honors the process or not. It is not uncommon for a person to withdraw from their friends and family and feel helpless; some might be angry and want to take action. And so it is the same for the dead.
One can expect a wide range of emotion and behavior that you might find being conscious and realizing you are dead. In all places and cultures, the grieving person benefits from the support of others.
But now that your dead who do you turn to?
Necromantic counseling may provide an avenue for healthy resolution to those long and recently dead.
Similarly in the living, where the process of grieving is interrupted for example, by simultaneously having to deal with practical issues of survival or by being the strong one and holding a family together, it can remain unresolved and later resurface as an issue for counseling. And so the same from the dead looking on unable to help those that still live.
Do you know how wonderful it is to be in love with being in true love. Always feeling perfect, happy and content. Because someone is thinking about you as you are of them. The wonderment of: do they think about me as I do of them? The question of, do they really, really love me?
Well that fleeting time has past and now your dead. That doesn't mean you still don't want it. Naturally crave... reach out from the grave to taste it again. Or does it?
Grief is a multi-faceted response to loss. It includes the emotional numbness, disbelief, separation, anxiety, despair, sadness, and loneliness that accompany the loss of someone or something loved. Although conventionally focused on the emotional response to loss, it also has physical, cognitive, behavioral, social, and philosophical dimensions. Common to human experience is the death of a loved one, whether it be a friend, family, or other companion. While the terms are often used interchangeably, bereavement often refers to the state of loss, and grief to the reaction to loss. Losses can range from loss of employment, pets, status, a sense of safety, order, or possessions, to the loss of loved ones. Our response to loss is varied and researchers have moved away from conventional views of grief (that is, that people move through an orderly and predictable series of responses to loss) to one that considers the wide variety of responses that are influenced by personality, family, culture, and spiritual and religious beliefs and practices.
Many individuals are never happy in their lives. Or at least not for long sustaining periods of time.
You meet someone nice with the looks the appeal you like, they for once in your life intrigue you. In a short time you become friends. And you then begin to really like them. Yes, they seem to like you equally as well too.
Then like you always do, you worry, fret weigh the options. Run them off and pray they come back and accept you for who you are.
Suddenly they return issues are settled lessons learned.
Then you ask all the questions to see if this is really real. Truths and secrets are revealed. And lies and little indiscretions swept under the rug. Then they tell you all the right things show you all you need to see and do all that you ask. They don't question you back. So they tell you they love you and you believe they mean it. And you mean it too.
Is this all to such a great lie to be real?
Actually you begin to change for them. You might not see it but your friends do. You become more of what they want from the things you see they like and do.
Now your in over your head. Commitment time. And you live happily ever after. Time goes on and things change. Very methodical and slowly at first. Of course then it happens. Your dead!
Bereavement, while a normal part of life for us all, carries a degree of risk when limited support is available. But what about when your dead who do you talk to?
Severe reactions to loss may carry over into family relations and cause trauma for children, spouses and any other family members: there is an increased risk of marital breakup following the death of a child, for example.
But what about the dead person? Issues of personal faith and beliefs may also face challenge, as bereaved dead person reassess personal definitions in the face of great pain. While many living who grieve are able to work through their loss independently, accessing additional support from bereavement professionals may promote the process of healing.
Grief counseling, professional support groups or educational classes, and peer-led support groups are primary resources available to the bereaved. In the United States, local hospice agencies may be an important first contact for those seeking bereavement support. But many today believe that this society we live in needs more pre death counseling. So we will know how to handle it when someone dies in our life. Or how to accept that we are dead.
They do things you do not like. They do not give you the answers and the actions you desire. Then they are gone. It's over.
This should make you realize that a ghost haunts us because this was their life as it is yours. The would have, should have, don't have it anymore issue.
Ghosts from my necromantic ritual and paranormal ghost hunting encounters in the night, all tell me many things. But as I have listened to them and openly communicated with these dead things over the past 40 years. I have found that many that hate themselves for not living when they had the chance too. Or those that were totally clueless always living in a fantasy world. Now since dead wishing they had seen the facts.
Also many ghosts wanting more then what they have need or could ever have. From hate to jealousy. Love to sexual desires. Being dead is just like being alive but your caught between two worlds. One with randomness great doubts and fears. The other with pure emotions exciting past woes and regrets. Ghosts are dead people who want to continue to live. That's the true motive plain and simple.
They don't want to leave this that they knew. They don't want to give up what was theirs and what they thought they could and should have. The dead and the living do have allot in common. They both grieve, wish and dream of better things. The dead want to see how their legacy's live on. How what they started ends. How a action has a reaction. That it has a result to an action from centuries past. Some ghosts are just watchers, others doers and haunters. They face all the problems we have in the real world and they certainly live with regrets as we do.
ALL THE RESULTS OF WOULD HAVE SHOULD HAVES AND COULD HAVES
So the living grieve, and the dead grieve. Nothing new but what happens when we die. It's just another day or does it all go black and it's over? Or are you lucky enough to go into a dream of all that was is and can be?
Organized religions are all based on an afterlife or the fact that it ends. We all want something more and so do the dead. Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross has posited sequential stages of grief including denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance, which are commonly referred to as the "grief cycle." As research progressed over the past 40 years, many people who worked with the bereaved found stage models too simplistic and instead began to look at processes, dynamics and experiences common to all. In 2008, Skeptic Magazine published the findings of the Grief Recovery Institute, which further contest the stages of grief as they are related to people dealing with the deaths of those important to them. John Bowlby, a noted psychiatrist, outlined the ebb and flow of processes such as shock and numbness, yearning and searching, disorganization and despair, and reorganization.
Bowlby and Parkes both note psychophysiologic components of grief as well. Included in these processes are feelings of unreality, depersonalization, withdrawal, and an anesthetizing of affect. The person feels unable to come to terms with what just occurred. "Whenever one's identity and social order face the possibility of destruction, there is a natural tendency to feel angry, frustrated, helpless, and/or hurt. The volatile reactions of terror, hatred, resentment, and jealousy are often experienced as emotional manifestations of these feelings." (see the article entitled The Grieving Process by Michael R. Leming and George E. Dickinson) Disorganization and despair are the processes commonly associated with bereavement: the mourning and severe pain of being away from the loved person or situation. Reorganization is the assimilation of the loss of something or someone and redefining of life and meaning without the person that has been lost.
"Also, grief is nature's most powerful aphrodisiac." (From Philosopher Will Farrell)
Complicated grief, now also commonly referred to as Prolonged Grief, can be differentiated from normal grief. Normal grief typically involves a range of transient behavioral and emotional responses to loss. While the experience of grief is a very individual process depending on many factors, certain commonalities are often reported. Nightmares, appetite problems, dryness of mouth, shortness of breath, sleep disorders, and repetitive motions to avoid pain are often reported by people experiencing normal grief. Even hallucinatory experiences may be normal early in grief.
Examples of complicated grief can often be found in those who have survived a suicide attempt (Hsu, 2002). Complicated grief responses almost always are a function of intensity and timing: a grief that after a year or two begins to worsen, accompanied by unusual behaviors, is a warning sign. Deaths such as suicides, murders, accidents, and other sudden and unexpected deaths can result in complicated grief due to the sudden shock. The surprise makes it difficult to integrate the "story" of the loss, so the person struggles with an initial task of simply believing that the loss has occurred. Variables surrounding the death such as expectedness, naturalness, presence of violence, ambivalence, degree of attachment, and others play into the presence of complicated grief. All too often complicated grief can last for years and most people (friends of the mourner) will recoil when hearing that this sort of grief may still be present after several years.
There is a clinical problem of becoming "identified" with the grief. In this situation, mourners are reluctant to release the grief because grieving has been integrated as part of their identity. Reporting in the journal NeuroImage (May 10, 2008, online), scientists suggest that complicated grief activates neurons in the reward centers of the brain, possibly giving these memories addiction-like properties. The authors found activity in the nucleus accumbens, a region of the brain most commonly associated with reward and one that has also been shown to play a role in social attachment, such as sibling and maternal affiliation.
Differing bereavements along the life cycle may have different manifestations and problems which are age related, mostly because of cognitive and emotional skills along the way. Children will exhibit their mourning very differently in reaction to the loss of a parent than a widow would to the loss of a spouse. Reactions in one type of bereavement may be perfectly normal, but in another the same reaction could be problematic. The kind of loss must be taken under consideration when determining how to help.
When a parent or caregiver dies or leaves, children may have symptoms of psychopathology, but they are less severe than in children with major depression (Cerel, 2006). The loss of a parent, grandparent or sibling can be very troubling in childhood, but even in childhood there are age differences in relation to the loss. A very young child, under one or two, may be felt to have no reaction if a carer dies, but this is far from the truth. At a time when trust and dependency are formed, a break even of no more than separation can cause problems in well being; this is especially true if the loss is around critical periods such as 8–12 months, when attachment and separation are at their height in formation, and even a brief separation from a parent or other person who cares for the child can cause distress (Ainsworth 1963).
Even as a child grows older, death is still difficult to assimilate and this affects the way a child responds. For example, younger children will find the 'fact' of death a changeable thing: one child believed her deceased mother could be restored with 'band-aids', and children often see death as curable or reversible, more as a separation. Reactions here may manifest themselves in 'acting out' behaviors: a return to earlier behaviors such as sucking thumbs, clinging to a toy or angry behavior: they do not have the maturity to mourn as an adult, but the intensity is there. As children enter pre-teen and teen years, there is a more mature understanding. Adolescents may respond by delinquency, or oppositely become 'over-achievers': repetitive actions are not uncommon such as washing a car repeatedly or taking up repetitive tasks such as sewing, computer games, etc. It is an effort to stay 'above' the grief. Childhood loss as mentioned before can predispose a child not only to physical illness but to emotional problems and an increased risk for suicide, especially in the adolescent period.
Death of a child can take the form of a loss in infancy such as abortion, miscarriage, stillbirth or neonatal death, SIDS, or the death of an older child. In all cases, parents find the grief almost unbearably devastating, and while persons may rate the death of a spouse as first in traumatic life events, the death of a child is still perhaps one of the most intense forms of grief, holding greater risk factors. This loss also bears a lifelong process: one does not get 'over' the loss but instead must assimilate and live with the death. Intervention and comforting support can make all the difference to the survival of a parent in this type of grief but the risk factors are great and may include family breakup or suicide. Because of the intensity of grief emotions, irrational decisions are often made. In the event of a miscarriage or abortion, it is important for friends and family members to acknowledge the loss of the pregnancy, and not to attempt to minimalize the significance of a pregnancy that did not come to term. Feelings of guilt, whether legitimate or not, are pervasive, and the dependent nature of the relationship disposes parents to a variety of problems as they seek to cope with this great loss. Parents that suffer miscarriage or abortion may experience resentment towards others who experience successful pregnancies.
Although the death of a spouse may be an expected change, it is a particularly powerful loss of a loved-one. A spouse often becomes part of the other in a unique way: many widows and widowers describe losing 'half' of themselves, and after a long marriage, at older ages, the elderly may find it a very difficult assimilation to begin anew. So it is the same for the ghost on the other side. lost and wanting to be with the living partner. This in simple terms destroys the living person until the dead spouse can let go. this usually can take 5 years or longer for them to let you go.
Furthermore, most couples have a division of 'tasks' or 'labor', e.g. the husband mows the yard, the wife pays the bills, etc. which in addition to dealing with great grief and life changes means added responsibilities for the bereaved. Social isolation may also become imminent as many groups composed of couples find it difficult to adjust to the new identity of the bereaved. And this happens on both sides of the grave.
As a child, the death of a parent, without support to manage the effect of the grief, may result in long term psychological harm. Therefore, it is important that the emotions the child feels are worked through completely and discussed openly. But what of the parent ghost that haunts the child fearing that they cannot make it without them.
An adult may be expected to cope with the death of a parent in a less emotional way, however it can still invoke extremely powerful emotions. And the bond between the dead parent and the living child becomes paranormal. The ghost parent putting feelings in the mind of the child's better judgment.
This is especially true when the death occurs at an important or difficult period of life, such as when becoming a parent themselves, graduation or other times of emotional stress. It is important to recognize the effects that the loss of a parent can cause and address these. As an adult, the willingness to be open to grief is often diminished and a failure to accept and deal with loss will only result in further pain and suffering. The living tend to run away. turn to drinking, sexual encounters. or evil deeds. The dead parent ghost still trailing them, often goes into a emotional rage, or mental breakdown because their child is lost to all they tried to protect them from.
The loss of a sibling is a devastating event and sibling grief is often a disenfranchised type of grief (especially with regard to adult siblings) in that it is overlooked by society as a whole and people in general, thus negating the depth of love that exists between siblings. Siblings who have been part of each other's lives since birth help form and sustain each other's identities; with the death of one sibling comes the loss of that part of the survivor's identity. The sibling relationship is a unique one as they share a special bond and a common history from birth, have a certain role and place in the family, often complement each other, and share genetic traits; siblings who enjoy a close relationship participate in each other's daily lives and special events, confide in each other, share joys, spend leisure time together (whether they are children or adults), and have a relationship that not only exists in the present but often looks toward a future together (even into retirement).
Siblings who play a major part in each other lives are essential to each other; the sibling relationship can be the longest significant relationship of the life span and this loss intensifies their grief. But when one dies the others ghosts stands close to see if the other missed them and meant all that they really said in life.
Adult siblings eventually expect the loss of aging parents, the only other people who have been an integral part of their lives since birth, but they don't expect to lose their siblings first; as a result, when a sibling dies, the surviving sibling may experience a longer period of shock and disbelief. the dead sibling stands close and tries to contact the living. Possibly pushing their fragile mental state past the limit.
Overall, with the loss of a sibling, a substantial part of the surviving sibling's past, present, and future is also lost and permanently changed until they die. It should also be noted that if siblings were not on good terms or close with each other, then intense feelings of guilt may ensue on the part of the surviving sibling (guilt may also ensue for: having survived, not being able to prevent the death, having argued with their sibling, etc.). (For further elaboration and information on the preceding information, see "Understanding Sibling Loss" CIGNA, "Sibling Grief" P. Gill White, Ph.D. and "Surviving the Death of a Sibling" T.J. Wray).
Parents may grieve due to permanent loss of children through means other than death. a dead parent grieves because they are not with their children and see them suffering with out them. This loss differs from the death of a child in that the grief process is prolonged or denied because of hope that the relationship will be restored. At least that's why the dead parent haunts their child.
In this sense, children may be lost due to many different causes, including loss of custody in divorce proceedings; legal termination of parental rights by the government, such as in cases of child abuse; through kidnapping; because the child voluntarily left home (either as a runaway or, for children over 18, by leaving home legally); or because an adult child refuses to have contact with the parent and withdraws from all social and family contact (a symptom of various depression or anxiety disorders).
Many other losses predispose persons to these same experiences, although often not as severely. Loss reactions may occur after the loss of a romantic relationship (i.e. divorce or break up), a vocation, a pet (animal loss), a home, children leaving home (empty nest syndrome), a friend, a favored appointment or desire, a faith in one's religion, etc. A person who strongly identifies with their occupation may feel a sense of grief if they have to stop their job due to retirement, being laid off, injury, or loss of certification. While the reaction may not be as intense, experiences of loss may still show in these forms of bereavement. Those who have experienced a loss of trust, will also experience some form of grief. For example, people that have been either physically or sexually abused children may have issues around trust as an adult.
In analyses of non-Western cultures suggest that beliefs about continuing ties with the deceased varies. In Japan, maintenance of ties with the deceased is accepted and carried out through religious rituals. In the Hopi of Arizona, the deceased are quickly forgotten and life continues on. Different cultures grieve in different ways but all are vital in healthy coping with the death of a loved one.
Necromantic Grief counseling becomes necessary when a dead person is so disabled by their grief, overwhelmed by loss to the extent that their normal coping processes are disabled or shut down. they randomally haunt a person or location.
Grief counseling for the already dead facilitates: expression of emotion and thought about the loss, including sadness, anxiety, anger, loneliness, guilt, relief, isolation, confusion, or numbness. It includes thinking creatively about the challenges that follow the lossof once being alive, and coping with concurrent changes in their afterlives. Often dead people feel disorganized, tired, have trouble concentrating, sleep poorly and have vivid living dreams, change in appetite. These too are addressed in necromantic counseling.
And some call me a physiatrist to the dead.
There is a distinction between necromantic grief counseling and grief necromantic therapy. Counseling through Necromancy involves helping dead people move through uncomplicated, or normal, grief to health and resolution so they can stop haunting us.
Necromantic Grief therapy involves the use of clinical tools for traumatic or complicated grief reactions.This could occur where the grief reaction is prolonged or manifests itself through some bodily or behavioral symptom, or by a grief response outside the range of cultural or psychiatrically defined normality. Even if your dead.
Necromantic Grief therapy is a kind of psychotherapy used to treat severe or complicated traumatic grief reactions Of the dead. This which are usually brought on by the loss of a close person (by separation or their death) or by community disaster. The goal of my necromantic grief therapy is to identify and solve the psychological and emotional problems which appeared as a consequence. They may appear as haunted or paranomal behavioral or physical changes, psychosomatic disturbances, delayed or extreme hauntings, or mourning, conflictual problems or sudden and unexpected mourning). Necromantic Grief therapy may be available as individual or group therapy. A common area where I have personally given necromantic grief therapy has been extensively applied is with the ghosts of large disaters. Like Hurricane, Aircraft or natural disaster related ghosts.
The 2012 doomsday prediction is a present-day cultural meme proposing that cataclysmic and apocalyptic events will occur in the year 2012. This idea has been disseminated by numerous books, internet sites and by TV documentaries. The forecast is based primarily on what is claimed to be the end-date of the Mesoamerican Long Count calendar, which is presented as lasting 5,125 years and as terminating on December 21 or 23, 2012, along with interpretations of assorted legends, scriptures, numerological constructions and prophecies.
A New Age interpretation of this transition posits that, during this time, the planet and its inhabitants may undergo a positive physical or spiritual transformation rather than an armageddon, and that 2012 may well be the end of the world as we know it, but not the end of the human species. Read More here now! www.2012thetruth.com
GHOST TOURS OF GALVESTON
Learn more about the real ghosts of Galveston Island. For the next public tour time call our Ghost Line (requiring no reservations) for information and public tour times 409-949-2027. For Private Ghost Tours and other information call the office line at 832-892-7419.
Prices: $15 for adults and $10 for children 10 and under.
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"Real Haunted and Historic walking tours with a photographic edge."
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"The premier Galveston, Texas ghost tour."
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The Tour Group Meets In Front Of The Railroad Museum At Strand And 25th Streets